Your Child’s Behavior is a Foreign Language: Become a Behavior Detective and Translate It! (Topic: BEGGING)
By Ava Parnass, Author, Songwriter and Child Psychotherapist
This week’s topic: BEGGING
Become a Behavior Detective and Translate BEGGING
Do you want to keep that happy smile on your child’s face? Do you hope to keep the look of love and joy on their face when they come home from school, so happy to see you?
But…are your kids coming home asking for too much each day? Are you fighting with them on a regular basis about what they can/cannot do? Rather than saying NO NO NO all day long try this:
1. “Okay, I see you have been asking for so many things, or fighting so much with your brother. Instead of my saying NO or STOP IT all afternoon and evening, how about we figure out what feelings are making you ask for so much today?”
2. “What do you really need? A hug? Am I distracted? Do you need some time alone with me to play so you have my full attention? Or are you sad or hurt or disappointed about something? Let’s figure it out together. It’s hard to share my time with everyone or to share your toys. I’m here to help you!”
3. “You must be very upset to be asking for so many things in a row. Do you feel as though no one is listening to you?”
4. “I really do see that you are upset. Here’s a hug. Now tell me what hurt you and then let’s play and be in the moment instead of asking for so many things.”
For more things to say try using the book Listen To Me Please
About the Author:
Ava Parnass, a.k.a. “The Kid Whisperer,” is an author, songwriter and child therapist. To find out more about how to become a Behavior and Feelings Detective, use the Feeling Map Town and books My Feelings Are Hungry and Listen To Me Please. Visit Listen To Me Please for details.
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